


Blood Lust

by Sunhealer24



Series: Relevant Rapists [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: And A Cup Of Hot Choclate, And All The Ships Here, And For TJ To Be Violently Murdered, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Blood, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, But I will go down with this ship, But That Won't Happen, Character Death, Dammit alex, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Death, Death Threats, Especially Sel, Everybody hates him, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Gaslighting, Girls Kissing, Heavy Angst, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Think I've Rambled Long Enough In The Tags, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I hate myself, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Sorry, Kissing, Lust, Multi, No More Using Tags As My Notes, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Relationship(s), Poor Sel, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, TJ's An Asshole, That's Exactly What She Needs, This Is Why I'm Not Allowed To Have A Pen And Paper, Threats, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Violence, Tragedy, Violence, Wait What?, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?, and a blanket, and friends, back to the real tags, because I hate myself, nevermind, seriously, she just needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 18:10:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18761704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunhealer24/pseuds/Sunhealer24
Summary: This wasn't over.I can't even tell anyone. They'll die.This will never be over.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Interpret the title however you'd like.

The sun shone brightly. So hopeful through the window. I cracked open my eyes, knowing that trying to ignore the morning was useless.

 

I stretched, brushing my injured shoulder in the process, and I whined in quiet pain. I looked around my room in the usual haze of having just woken up.

 

The window was closed. 

 

My breath caught in my throat as I rapidly raced through all the different scenarios. Maybe mom had come in in the middle of the night, when she got home from her job, and had shut it. Not likely. She usually stumbled into bed at three am, not even having the energy to take her show makeup off. 

 

So her wandering to my side of the house and shutting my window before heading back to bed was unlikely. 

 

My father hadn't been around in a few weeks. He wouldn't be home for another week if he was true to schedule, which he always was, even doped up and drunk off his ass. 

 

There were no more excuses for me to make, I realized, glancing at the clock. It was nine o' clock. My brother would have been at school well over an hour ago, and my mother was no doubt asleep still. Across the house.

 

"TJ?" I called out quietly, not wanting to prolong the inevitable for any longer. There was silence for a moment as I got up and glanced around, peering at all the shadows. He'd always had a talent for blending in with them. 

 

"Sel." He greeted back, smirking, from my bathroom door. He idly twirled a knife. I could see the gun handle poking out of his pocket. Of course. "I must say, your choice in sleepwear is quite. . ." He looked me up and down. "Intoxicating."

 

My face flared in anger. "You son of a bitch! You can't come into my home and insult me for what I wore to bed to protect the  _ bullet wound  _ you gave me from being infected!" 

 

As I spoke, I curled my arms over my chest. I wasn't wearing a bra, as the pressure would have aggravated the wound, and the top was a simple tube top, held up by the straps that tied behind my neck. 

 

His eyes flashed dangerously for a minute before he casually walked towards me. I backed up until I found myself flat against the wall, him pinning me to it. "Well, I believe I do, Sel. See, you left the window open for me. You're only enabling me. This could all stop at any moment." He smirked, his face barely an inch from my own. 

 

"I know where your mother works, Sel." He said very quietly. " I have money. More than you. I have money that your mother  _ needs.  _ That  _ you  _ need. She wouldn't dare turn the offer down, not if I paid triple. She's let men cut her up for less. When she's up on that stage. . ." He closed his eyes, imaging. "She doesn't look as good as you do next to naked, but she'll do. Ah. . . the blood that wells from within women's skin. . ." He takes a deep breath, almost intoxicated by the thought.

 

"Mmm. . ." He opens his eyes. "It's really your choice Sel. It's her or you." I opened my mouth before he held a long finger up. "Wait Sel. Just imagine how shocked your dear mother would be if she knew she'd let her daughter's  _ rapist  _ fuck her. Or how distraught she'd be if she came home at three o'clock, tired and disheartened, just to find us. All  _ three _ of us. I tie very good knots Sel. What if I cut open your brother, let him scream while his guts curled over my hands, his ribs broke one by one, his arms were shot to pieces? I could fuck you in his entrails, your naked body covered in his blood, his bowels beneath your ass, his intestines wrapped around my cock,  _ inside of you?" _

 

Tears rolled down my face. "Stop! Just stop! You've proved your point!" I choked back a sob as his hand encircled my neck, squeezing lightly. 

 

"Say it." He hissed, squeezing harder, not quite cutting off my air supply. A promise of pain to come. 

 

"I'm. . . I'm here. You can do whatever you want. . ." I whimpered. He didn't let go of my neck, using the leverage to drag me into my bathroom. 

 

The door shut behind us with an audible click, and I knew, with a surrendered helplessness, how deep into this nightmare I really was. He was upon me in an instant, his mouth hot on my bare neck. I tried to shove him from me, but the lack of strength I had with him pinning me to the rough wood of the door was truly laughable. 

 

"P-please. . ." I whispered brokenly. In response, he released my neck, using that hand to instead pull my hands above my head. He gripped my wrists, finally releasing his attack on my body, and stepped a few steps back. His smirk made me deeply uncomfortable, unsettling me and making me tense up. He flipped the knife he still held in one hand, tossing it and catching the handle again. 

 

I whimpered as he debated. With a lightning fast strike, he stabbed the knife through the palms of my hands and embedded it into the wood of the sturdy door. 

 

At first, I was too shocked to notice it, but the pain made itself evident within moments as I felt the hot gush of blood dripping down my arms. I screamed, trying frantically to free my hands, which were pinned to the door. TJ drew closer to me, slowly licking up the length of my arm, cleaning the rapidly falling blood from my skin. 

 

His saliva was cool against my skin, his tongue smooth and wet. I shuddered, which only served to make the blood fall faster. He growled, a strange, open mouthed sound. "Stop struggling Sel. You're only going to make yourself bleed more."

 

I twitched slightly beneath him, but complied readily. The blood was not a pleasant feeling on my arms, nor was his mouth. I bled freely and he continued to lap it up as if my veins held an intoxicating wine.

 

"Sel?" A sleepy voice rang out from across my room, just behind the closed then door. "You said we were going out for  coffee this morning."

 

TJ smirked at me. "Your friend?" He paused to lick up another little trail of blood. "Come on. Let's have some fun."


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate myself. But temporary fluff?

"No! TJ, please!" I rasped, my voice cracking. He chuckled slightly. "Alright Sel. Since you beg so nicely." He pulled the knife from my hands, and I let out a strangled sound of mixed agony and relief. "I'll be back tonight." He said before opening the window in the bathroom and jumping out of it, unnoticed. 

 

"Sel?" My friend called again. "Come on, it's already 9:40." I turned the faucet on, washing the blood from my arms and hands, and washing the encounter away to collect my thoughts on later.

 

"Give me a second Vy, I've got to change!" I called back to her, turning off the sink and pulling out a roll of bandages. I looked over to the door while bandaging my hands. The white door was marred by red blood, and there was an area where the wood splintered and cracked, no doubt from the knife blade. 

 

Vy sighed. "Okay Sel. I'll be waiting outside your door. Just meet me there when you're ready." I could hear her footsteps retreating, and then my bedroom door opening and closing. 

 

I cracked open the door to check if she was really gone, and after I had ascertained that she was, I left the bathroom to dress. I threw on a pair of jeans, a long sleeve shirt, and a jacket. As a last thought, I slipped on some fingerless gloves to hide the bandages on my hands that were already soaking up blood. 

 

After checking to make sure everything was placed right and no bruises or bandages were showing, I joined Vy outside my door. "Took you long enough." She scoffs playfully. I stuck my tongue out at her, before starting to walk away. "Hey! Wait for me!" She said, sliding down the staircase banister to follow me.

 

I turned to watch her, slightly amused by her antics. "So where are we going this morning for coffee?" She asked me. Then before I could say anything, she answered herself. "Starbucks." She said definitively. "Definitely Starbucks. I want one of their mochas." She started towards the door, yelling behind her, "And a scone, definitely a scone. And a tea maybe." 

 

I laughed gently, following after her, locking the door of my house behind us. 

  
  


Vy looked at her coffee and made a face. "They spelled my name wrong Sel! It's  _ two  _ letters! How can they mess that up." She wrinkled her nose in the was I always found to be so adorable. I gently took the cup from her, and crossed out the baristas script with a purple pen, before rewriting her name correctly.

 

"There." I said, handing it back to her. "Are you happy now?" She took it back, while shoving a bite of scone in her mouth. She swallowed before she talked, knowing fully well that it was useless to speak with her mouth full.

 

"Oh, very." She paused for a second, staring at the purple script and fiddling with the hem of her shirt. It was obvious she had a question, but was afraid to ask. 

 

"Spit it out Vy!" I laughed at my usually vivacious friend's silence. "Are you having boy trouble again? You come for advice?" I took a sip of my own coffee, savoring the richness of it.

 

"Actually, girl trouble." She muttered quietly. Vy and I were both bisexual, mostly dating guys, but occasionally finding a girl we liked. Or should I say Vy did these things. I barely socialised, and only had a date, boy or girl, once in a blue moon. I looked at her expectantly, waiting patiently for her to spill.

 

"Well, there's this girl, I know her pretty well, she's amazing and beautiful and I love her. All of my relationships, every time I've had sex or laid with someone, I've thought of her instead of the actual person I was with. I've never admitted my feelings to her, but I want to spend the rest of my life with her if I can. We share a lot of the same intrests, and I think we could really make it work. But I don't know if she'll ever see me in the same way I see her." 

 

I had to take a step back for a second. Vy usually wasn't that open with her relationships, typically preferring quick flings or brief hookups. One and done. To hear that she had found someone that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, if possible, was sobering, like being dunked into an ocean of cold water. "Who is it Vy?" I asked her.

 

She looked at me with a look that could only be described as helpless. In the quietest, meekest voice that I had ever heard come out of my best friend, she said, "It's you Sel. It's always been you." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate myself so much. I apologize for what comes next.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work was supposed to be one chapter. It ended up as three. And heartbreak.

My brain struggled for a minute to keep up. Then it clicked. Everything over the years. The brief looks I caught her stealing, the overprotectiveness. The lack of interest at the boys and girls that threw themselves at her. How she had never had a permanent relationship, preferring her one night stands instead.

 

I had lost count of her body count a long time ago, but I knew it was high. And here was Vy, right now, telling me that she had wanted me the entire time. Had thought of me everythime she got laid. 

 

"Vy?" I asked tentatively. She had her head buried in her hands, shaking slightly. I reached across the table and tapped her shoulder, and she looked up at me. "You. . .love me?" 

 

"Yes." She admitted. "I love you so much, and I've kept it hidden for forever." It was her turn to reach across the table and grasp my hands in her own. "Will you please be my girlfriend?"

 

With that, all my defenses broke open. Everything I'd been trying to hold back to face at a later date that was never coming, burst forth and flooded my mind. My eyes clouded, and I was far from shocked to feel tears sliding down my cheeks. 

 

"Sel?" Vy asked, slightly panicked. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bring this onto you so suddenly!" She pulled her lip in between her teeth, and chewed slightly, nervous.

 

I couldn't stop the tears from falling down and culminating in my lap. A pool of sorrow. A pool of my blood. A pool of what TJ had left behind. 

 

"Sel!" Vy said, standing up from the table. The chair tipped backwards. She was shaking me. Please stop. You're just making it worse. "Sel!" Her voice became increasingly panicked and it rang in my ears. 

 

Blood seeped through my gloves, blood seeped through my bandages on my shoulder. They hurt. An aching, throbbing pain. I felt empty. 

 

I was suddenly aware of water falling on me. Vy was still shaking me, and she was crying. I placed a hand on her shoulder, and she stopped shaking me. "It's okay Vy. I just. . . I couldn't think for a minute." I lied, reassuring her. 

 

"No, you're not. Something is wrong Sel." She said, calming down a bit. "Tell me. Tell me everything." 

 

So, with no care for the rest of the world, I spilled my darkest secret to my best friend, my girlfriend. I told her everything. Exactly what TJ had done, how he had hurt me, how he had raped me, how he had threatened my life, and the lives of those I loved. I cried, but without letting it break my train of constant rambling.

 

When I was finally empty from words, devoid of the secrets that I had kept, the hurt that I had felt, Vy just stared at me for a minute before muttering, "I'm going to kill that fucking bastard."

 

I laughed weakly. "Thanks Vy." I stood up, wiping away my tears on my shirt sleeves. "I've got to go to the store. Purchase tissues, bandages, antiseptics, and lots of birth control." 

 

"Wait." Vy said desperately. "Are you sure I can't convince you to report him to the police and get him arrested?" I shook my head slowly. We both knew I wasn't going to take the of TJ killing my family. Besides, the police would never catch him. He was meticulous, and even if they found something, half the cops were probably on his payroll. 

 

"Before you go," Vy started, before pulling me tightly into a kiss that shook my whole world. It was tenderly accepting of me and all of my flaws, demanding enough to show that she knew what she wanted. That kiss was all it took for me to realize that I'd been in love with Vy for a very long time, and it was time to stop denying it. I melted into the kiss, and it felt like Vy and I were one person, two halves of a greater whole. 

 

When we peeled away, I gasped out a short "I love you." She reaffirmed the same statement before letting me go. I thought of her, tasting her still on my lips, the entire way to the store.

 

When I came home, my mother had already left. She had texted me that one of her regulars was paying her a lot of money to spend the day with her  and then for her to stay the night with him. His name was Richard, and he was a good man. I truly believed he cared for mom and he tried to keep her away from her more abusive clients. He had a lot of money, and I hoped one day he would convince mom to work for him, and him alone. 

 

I sighed as I unlocked the kitchen door. Too many ifs. I walked up the stairs and into my bathroom, placing the supplies on the counter. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the splintered wood of my bathroom door. I still had to do something about that. Turning towards it, I saw that the door was slightly ajar. I hadn't left it open.

 

Maybe I hadn't completely closed it and it swung open slightly by itself. Or maybe a strong gust of wind blew it open. Unlikely, as I had closed the bathroom window after TJ swung out of it, and TJ had shut my bedroom window himself this morning. Or last night, whenever he had crept in. 

 

I shuddered, suddenly cold. The bathroom was foreboding, all the tile surrounding me, the wood splinters of the door, that I still hadn't swept up from this morning, on the floor.  I peeled off my gloves and the shoulder of my sweatshirt and rebandaged the wounds as quickly as possible. 

 

Having done so, I finally walked out into my bedroom. I placed a new box of tissues on my bedside table, not looking up for a minute. When I did, I let out a strangled gasp. TJ was sitting on the bed in front of me, holding Vy's head in his lap. 

 

He was brushing her hair, and looked up at me a minute after the sound escaped my mouth. He was livid, I could immediately tell by the expression on his face. He spoke with a dangerously calm tone. I was going to get fucking killed.

 

"Now Sel." His voice was smoother than glass and hiding edges just as sharp. "This is your fault." He patted the bed next to him, not a tentative asking if I wanted to join him. It was a subtle command. I walked over. I sat. I was numb. 

 

He put Vy's head down on my lap and allowed me to look at it for a moment before gently tilting my head up with one of his hands so I was looking up at him. Don't you remember the little discussion we had last night about disclosure? This is a private relationship. You have full disclosure with me, and me alone." 

 

He pulled his hand away, allowing my head to drop. "She put up quite a fight actually. He rolled up his shirt sleeves to reveal where her pink and purple nails had clawed at him and ripped his flesh. "You know Sel, it's quite funny." I tilted my head back up to look at him. 

 

His expression had morphed into one of odd humor. "When I screwed her, we were both thinking of you." He laughed, a not altogether unpleasant sound, holding a lyrical note that I had gotten used to. "Down on your knees."

 

Without waiting for me to respond, he shoved me to the floor, down on my knees and straddled me. He pulled down my pants, before I heard the sound of his zipper coming undone. I came enough out of my stupor to struggle against him, but it was futile. I cried out as he shoved into me and started thrusting roughly.

 

"You little slut." He muttered between thrusts. "I bet you're getting off on this. I bet you love being my sex toy." His hand encircled my neck, gripping tighter and tighter until I could barely breathe. I hoped he would accidentally kill me, but with TJ, the chance was one in a million. He groaned. "God Sel, I bet you touched yourself at night, hoping that one day I'd fuck you in front of your best friend." His breathing was getting faster, picking up in speed and becoming ragged. He choked me as he got himself off using my body. His other hand wandered upwards, and found its way underneath my shirt and he pawed me through my bra. "Does that feel good Sel? Having me feel you up? Being choked? Being helpless underneath me?" I felt him cum, but he didn't stop.

 

He kept up the brutal pace while whispering the most vile things in my ear. Tears leaked down my face as he whispered, "Are you crying for me Sel? Are those tears for your master? You should cry, you filthy slut. You kissed your best friend an hour ago, and now you're fucking her murderer. Her blood is on your hands, Sel. Your hands. This is what bad girls deserve." 

 

I lost myself. His words became my own thoughts. I should fight back. I'm a slut. I'm not fighting back, so I must be enjoying this. I shouldn't have told Vy. I knew it would get her killed. Maybe that's what I wanted. TJ's right. I just let her get killed. This is my punishment. This is what I deserve. 

  
  


I don't know how long it took before TJ pulled out of me, and took me to the shower like a ragdoll. He stripped us both down and showered with me. Showing a mock tenderness, he rebandaged my wounds, dressed me, and dressed himself, and tucked me into bed like a six year old. He gave me a brief kiss on the forehead before he grabbed Vy's head and a key on a key ring.

 

He dangled it in front of my face. "Don't bother leaving your window open anymore Sel. I got a key. Wouldn't want you to get cold." 

 

He climbed out the window and onto the trellis, closing it behind him before jumping off and to the ground. Too tired, too broken to consider anything other than the pounding of my head, I closed my eyes.

 

Behind them lay a world of messages screaming "All your fault" and "She didn't deserve this".

  
  


I fell asleep still thinking of Vy, lying somewhere, dead, in an unmarked grave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just. . . please don't lynch me.

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't hurt me.


End file.
